In blatant defiance of Professor Tim Noakes’s stance on carbs, Valve has introduced bread (!) to Team Fortress 2.

Yes, as of the June 11 update to the six year old shooter/hat simulator, whenever someone emerges from a teleporter there is a chance a random slice or loaf of bread might appear for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Perhaps it’s being done to annoy those following Professor Tim Noakes’ low-carb, high fat cult diet with visions of things they just can’t eat. Or maybe it’s something else entirely… at this point, it’s anyone’s guess.

Valve has been mildly obsessed with random bits of bread of late, having shown various versions of the famous baked good in its Team Fortress 2 materials. TF2’s wiki has tracked the mentions:

• Bread was hinted at multiple times before its appearance in the game itself
• Bread was first mentioned in the Lecture Valley page
• Bread was also shown on the Adult Swim Extravaganza blog post. In the top right corner directly above the Scout, a pair of baguettes are visible
• The icon for the Summer Appetizer Crate contains two baguettes
• The Two Cities Update page for Rottenburg shows Archimedes flying away with a pretzel
• All bread props can be destroyed with the Short Circuit, similar to projectiles

Obsessed or not, Valve’s Team Fortress 2 now has more bread and bread-related products in it than ever before. See them all below:

Valve’s mysterious behaviour doesn’t stop there, either: a countdown site for something Team Fortress 2-related sprang up a while back:

With only 10 hours to go, we have absolutely no idea what is coming from Valve…

[Source, Image – Wiki.Teamfortress.com]