A couple weeks back I spotted this post on Kotaku, detailing the hilarious things – well, one hilarious thing anyway – that Besiege players are building, and I laughed so hard that I just had to buy the game myself. That link is a bit NSFW, btw, so maybe open it at home.

Over the last week I’ve tinkered with the game, and a few days ago I finally figured out how to build an actual siege engine that launches a bomb, as opposed to, you know, a bomb that launches siege engines. Those, it turns out, are pretty easy to make.

Actually making a working catapult turned out to be a bit more complicated than I thought it would be, so I thought I’d share my discoveries here in case it helps someone who is as stuck as I was.

Build a basic structure

Besiege - Basic Structure

All you need to start is a rectangular base and some wheels. First, move the starting block quite a long way forward by clicking Translate Machine, then drag the forward-pointing arrow forward. I like to set the structure on the ground so there’s no jolt when you click the Play button and gravity kicks in.

Then bolt on a few blocks of wood and connect your wheels.

The arm of the catapult

Besiege - After Arm

For the arm, you’ll need a hinge (which you attach to that central post facing towards the back of the structure), six blocks of wood and a way to support it so that it doesn’t fall to the ground. I found the best way to support it is to build a section of wood at the end of the structure, but one block down so the arm rests on it.

Firing mechanism

Besiege - Arm with Springs

To get the arm to move, I connect two springs to two posts I’ve placed at the front of the vehicle. This is what pulls the arm, launching the projectile.

Stop the arm from over-shooting

Besiege - Firing Mechanism

Simply place another block of wood just above the hinge. The arm will hit it and stop, but only if it’s been secured to the base structure with braces.

Arm yourself

Besiege - Tail

Now all there’s left to do is to place a holder at the end of the tail, and drop a bomb or a boulder in there, and the catapult is complete.

Fire!

Besiege - Firing

Click the Play button, and press L to contract the springs. You’ll need to watch how long you press it for, as too long means the bomb will launch into the catapult and not at the enemy.

And voila! Catapult done, and all you need to do is refine the design to your own parameters and you have a siege engine worthy of the name.

Besiege is an Early Access game that’s available on PC via Steam. You can pick it up now for $6.99 (around R80), and I can promise you it’s worth every cent, especially if you grew up playing with LEGO.

Deon got his first taste of PC gaming at the tender age of 11 when his father bought an 8088 XT, ostensibly to "help him with his homework". Instead, it introduced him to Leisure Suit Larry, King Graham, Sonny Bonds and many more, and Deon has been a PC gamer and hardware enthusiast ever since. He landed his first professional writing gig in 2006 at a prestigious local PC magazine, a very happy happenstance as he got to write for a living about things he loves - tech, PCs, gaming, and everything in between. He's been writing about it all ever since, and loves every minute of it.