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The many slapstick deaths of Hades’ Zagreus

This story contains minor spoilers for Hades and the fate of Zagreus

When Hades was in early access it didn’t have an ending which left developer Supergiant Games with a problem: what do you do with players who successfully finished the game?

The answer to this was some dialogue from the game’s omniscient narrator which explained, with tongue firmly in cheek, some convoluted reason why there was no ending yet.

When the 1.0 final release of the game launched in September this year Supergiant Games did have an ending to the game and the main story of Hades but, as a roguelike, they now had to account for players finishing the story and still replying the game.

So back to the narrated endings they went. We’ve since poured a few hundred hours into Hades and have completed the game 100 percent, so we’ve heard just about all these lines of dialogue by now as they’ve begun to repeat.

We haven’t counted them all but there must be a few dozen or so by our very rough guess and, over all those hours of play, we’ve been capturing our favourite meta excuses about why Zagreus has failed in his mission to escape the underworld.

From everything simply being a dream, to the common cold and even sillier things, see what we experienced in the screenshots below.

The classic banana peel pratfall

 


The ending your English teacher told you not to write

 


Meep meep

 


Death by the common cold

 


Zagreus must have a severe allergy

 


Despite this the game ends the same way

 


The Mummy (1995) death

 


Watch the time go right out the window

 


Okay we guess a fungus is more deadly than a flower

 


GOAT

 


An ol’ timey classic

 


Ye olde punji pit

 


Zagreus, well done

 


The narrator gives up

 

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